


Bipolar Sunshine

by TheLastWhiteRose



Series: Connor: Become Human [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M, Kissing, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastWhiteRose/pseuds/TheLastWhiteRose
Summary: Perhaps in a different life, a different universe, Connor had become deviant. In that dimension, perhaps he had remained the RK800, and they had lived a fulfilling life with one another, spending everyday in her arms. He briefly wondered if she was happy in that universe, and he knew she was. That universe was not this one, no matter how much he wished otherwise, and it was all his doing.





	Bipolar Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> I really can only write one type of fan fiction, and that’s angst. This is a continuation of “Sunset Lover” and yes, I was still listening to Petit Biscuit.

(Name) was beautiful. Connor knew she always had been, even before he recognized his thoughts as deviant. Her eyes, which brightened whenever she saw him, were scintillating, as if gazing past Amanda’s flawless code and searching deep within his soul. Her smile, like clouds parting to reveal a bright sun, was only surpassed by her laugh, which was a tinkling bell. She hadn’t had occasion to do either of those, and if the tremor in her voice was to be believed, she wouldn’t do those for a long time. Connor supposed that was his doing.

That was new too. Wanting to be called Connor instead of “RK900”. The influx of strange, indecipherable messages being sent to his mind, his core. They were burdens, intangible feelings his brain couldn’t, or rather, wouldn’t comprehend, lest he be suspected of becoming deviant. He liked them. They brought warmth, and with warmth, carried guilt. Guilt he knew he deserved. After all, he had been complicit in Hank’s suicide, the failure of the android coup, and with that, (Name)’s venture into depression. These emotions had to be incomplete code. It was impossible for a machine, a hunk of plastic with what was essentially the equivalent of a water bottle filled with blue liquid as a circulatory system, to feel genuine human emotion. This, Connor knew all too well. 

Watching (Name) now, flitting across the crime scene expertly, as if she wasn’t on the brink of suicide, Connor felt a warm sensation across his abdomen. It was affection, something he thought he had long abandoned when he had made the decision to stay a machine. From a glance, she was holding up well. A strong composure, a professional smile, and a determined expression held up that facade. It was only under the layers of makeup that Connor could see the bags under her eyes, the fatigue of her muscles from having to fake her smiles, and the false words she spoke every time her lips opened. 

So Connor did what he was assigned, with minimal glances toward (Name). In return, she ignored him. It was better than the alternative, Connor supposed, of her shrieking at him, telling him to bring her Connor back, not the upgraded version. It was better than her looking in his eyes, slate grey instead of brown, beseeching him to give her back Hank, rewind time so that the hurt she’d endured could be erased. It was better than looking into her eyes, beautiful now, even after all her days of crying, and falling in love with her all over again.

It was only in the car did she award him a single glance. They were outside her apartment complex, hidden in the shade provided by trees. Connor remembered this place well. It was where she had introduced him to kissing, albeit in an unorthodox fashion. When (Name) had placed her lips on his, he had felt the emotion of love that she had so fondly spoken of. It was both terrifying and exciting, to be so vulnerable with a single person. He knew she felt it too. And like the machine he was programmed to be, he maliciously exploited that affection. 

His betrayal had wounded her deeply. Connor could see it in her eyes as everything from love to contempt flooded her face. She never was one to conceal her emotions, and she wasn’t going to start now. For a moment, Connor had the uncontrollable urge to grab her face and kiss her, like they had so long ago, before it faded into a dull throb where his heart should’ve been. No, it wasn’t possible. Not in the reality he had created for them. 

Perhaps in a different life, a different universe, Connor had become deviant. In that dimension, perhaps he had remained the RK800, and they had lived a fulfilling life with one another, spending everyday in her arms. He briefly wondered if she was happy in that universe, and he knew she was. That universe was not this one, no matter how much he wished otherwise, and it was all his doing. 

He had killed Marcus, ruined the chance of androids ever gaining independence from their masters, and in turn, had annihilated the chance of (Name) ever being happy again. Connor was to blame for Hank’s suicide, and he would spend the rest of the days regretting it.

She exited the car, floral scent following her. Connor analyzed it, hoping to hold the feeling of her. It was Chanel No. Five, Connor deduced, but it wasn’t. Perfume on anybody else wouldn’t smell as sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
